Connecting in Weakness

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine shared a quote with me that has stuck with me:  "Connect with people in weakness instead of trying to impress with strength."

When I'm trying, whether consciously or unconsciously, to impress people, I'm more concerned about what they think of me than actually trying to connect with them.  I can't "mourn with those who mourn" or "comfort those who stand in need of comfort," as I covenanted to do when I was baptized, if I'm trying to prove to myself and other people that my life is perfect.  Since I want to have genuine connections with people, I have been trying to share more of my human frailties with others.  That's not to say that I feel the need to share all of my weaknesses with everyone all the time, but I've come to realize that sometimes I even hesitate to share my talents because I don't deem them to be "good enough."

In March, I had an opportunity to share some of my talents at the Relief Society birthday party activity at Church.  A week before the activity Sister Hancock came to my door with two pieces of music.  She asked me to sing one and play the other one while my friend Janette sang.  In turn, Janette would play for me while I sang.  Sister Hancock is relatively new in the Ward, and she told me that she was getting to know everyone's talents,  She had prayed to ask who should sing the songs she had selected, and Janette's and my name came to her mind.  In addition, she felt strongly that we should help each other by accompanying.  When she asked Janette, she didn't even know if Janette could play the piano (she can).

I had heard both songs before, and I even had the piano book.  However, I had never really learned or practiced either of those two songs.  Janette and I practiced together a few days after my half marathon, and my fingers were all over the place.  When Sister Hancock had asked me to play, I had felt confident that I could play the song, but practicing at Janette's house, I started to feel a little embarrassed.  Maybe I wasn't good enough to accompany?  I quickly threw my shame and my doubt away and told myself that I could play the song.  I simply needed to practice more.  Janette gave me encouraging words, and I gave Janette encouraging words because I think she was feeling the same way about her ability to accompany.

Then I went home and I practiced.  I spent hours on the song.  For the next two or three nights it was in head as I fell asleep at night.  I practiced at the Church and at home.  I prayed for the ability to invite the Spirit to the meeting through the music.  I surrendered, in prayer, my desire to impress people with my musical talents because, I'll confess, that I never once played the song perfectly all the way through.  It was a pretty long song, and my hands weren't even large enough to reach all of the notes in some of the chords.  It was clearly written by a man with very large hands, but I was able to do some modifications, so that my hands could play enough of the notes.

On the night of the activity, Janette and I encouraged each other.  Neither of us had even had time to be nervous about singing because our complete focus was on practicing the piano.  And do you know what?  Neither of us played perfectly that evening, but we both played well.  Most importantly, the Spirit was in the room because our hearts were in the right place.  We had connected with each other and with the other women in the room in our weakness.  That made me feel more than "good enough."  I felt like I was a divine member of a divine sisterhood.

On a more newsy note:  My parents went home on Wednesday.  We had a fantastic visit with them, and I was happy that I got to drive them to the airport.  I'm a bit selfish when it comes to driving family to the airport because I want the time in the car to talk.

On Saturday I went to Insanity at the Rec Center for the first time in six months or so.  The last time I went I had to leave the class early because I thought I was going to pass out, but this time, I finished the entire workout.  My body was sore until Monday, but it was fun anyway.  I intend to do it again because I think it will help me improve my running.    On April 30th I'm going to run another half marathon at Thanksgiving Point, and I would like to improve my time.

Here are a couple of pictures:

Kirsten took this picture today while we were playing outside.

We let the chicks play in the yard on Sunday, and they kept gravitating toward our Easter decorations.  How appropriate!